It's time for a new beginning (:

Today was a discouraging day actually. Really felt so tired of trying to hype up the class. I guess everyone in bom has felt that way before. But when i think about it again, i guess thats why God tested me so long in waiting for my connect group to grow. Its the same thing in school and church. It always is.

My connect group has gone through ups and downs. 304 has gone through ups and downs. My connect has had its victories. 304 has had its victories. My connect group has had its (many) failures, 304 has had its... fewer failures. My connect group has required me to sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. 304 has required me to sacrifice, sacrifice sacrifice. My connect group has required me to give, give, give. 304 has required me to give, give, give.

Sometimes i've hated these jobs so much. I've just hated hated hated and wanted to escape from all the responsibilities because i am not naturally skilled to be a responsibility type of person. I've failed again and again and again and again and again at doing so many things and each time it is such a huge blow because i feel all eyes are looking at my failures and just thinking "shes not good enough"

I've hated the fact that sometimes people everywhere, including myself are just too stupid to realise the truth on our own, and hated the fact that they hate me for trying to tell them whats right.

But God reminded me again and again... Of how much He loved me. And that same love He used to love me i have to love the people with. its not so much about me anymore, my strengths, my failures, wtvwtvwtv, it's about God. Because i know He has placed me in a position for something, and that He can strip me from that position in no time at all. But if He as left me there and encouraged me to press on, i have to. If He strips me of my position one day, He's still God... and He still rules.

I must love God more everyday. But i must also love my people more everyday. How can i expect a revival and for people to experience God's love if i do not even have a great enough love for the people? I know God makes every sacrifice worth it. And they really are very, very, amazing people. (:

I love you my dearest connect group & dearest 304. :)