It's time for a new beginning (:
history maker, here i come.Saturday, July 12, 2008
just came back from cell.
I FEEL AWESOME.
ahha sorry about the post just now
i just wanted myself to look and see how God could change my mood from total crap to HAPPINESS in a mere few hours (:
haha well it might seem that my sadness just now was fake
but seriously, i felt so so so screwed up
i really felt like everything i was doing was useless, that no matter how much i prayed and fasted for them it was totally unappreciated.
but then i realised.... or more of krystle really snapped into me, that there were many things the other members had been doing that i wasnt doing
and even though by capacity, i knew that i was doing quite alot, but i suddenly knew that yet i had not done enough
BUT. then the devil had spoken to me... and asked me why i had to stretch myself so much
i mean, whats the use ?
why did i have to sacrifice so much of my time into the cell group...
THEN God totally intercessed with today's message...
'Be a finisher'... and yeah, i guess that really pushed me on
i could choose to look back and think ' oh yeah those times were great but now i'm tired'
but i can say with all my heart that i want to finish those works that i have started
i want to conquer my members even though lol, that seems so far
i want to win more friends into my connect group and w445 because i truly truly love the people around me so much.
so many people around me have gifts ...
gifts that i could never have i guess
dancing, tennis, amazing anointed guitar playing, sports, studies....
and i used to feel so demoralized... hello im in green club man
but i just realised... hey! why do you laugh at me? look at yourself man
you may be exceling in all parts of your life... but what have you done for others, what have you done for God?
have you made a person touched these past few days, have you called a person and made them feel loved?
have you used your gifts to really touch others in a special way?
i don't have many gifts i admit... but i know that e love i have for people, i know that e willingness to sacrifice for them and most importantly... my love with God can really bring me up in life.
i am not the prettiest, smartest, coolest, most popular, skinniest, best complexion(AHAH), i dont have the best singing voice, and i know that i really am not very good at much things... but yet im really satisfied with myself because i know that i really live everyday for God, and it's always always always worth it :)
haha, thats why i love days when i start out screwed
because a huge whole revelation comes in by the end of it
and a new motivation to keep pressing on...
and also because at the start of my day when everything is falling apart
i told God that i would expect my mood to change by the end of the day..
and God has never once left me hanging there.
WHOOSH!
if this morning had been 6 months ago
i would have fallen apart
but i guess i really have grown to love God more during this time
and i wish to love Him more and more and more every single day =)
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