It's time for a new beginning (:
history maker, here i come.Monday, February 11, 2008
you're by me half of the day.
when you smile laugh and talk with me i feel like i can get through it.
but now i live in the constant fear of saying whats right and making your happy
i need you, you're a part of my life.
you're a part that makes everything fits.
slap me, slam my stapler, throw things on the ground, hit me with your books...
but never tell me that you hate me again. because if it goes on like this, i really think i'm going to go back to my old self.
i don't hate you.
i don't dislike you.
i don't have any negative feelings of you at all.
because you're the one that brought me to church... and i owe my entire life to you for that.
but i'm really tired.
i really am.
i couldn't complete my math quiz today because you got me so worried...
but it's alright, because if it takes an examination to be failed to show you that i care, then i'll fail it to think about you.
this is one of the hardest times i'm going through...
i just want to hear those beside me laugh and smile and i can bear with it.
people are talking about you behind you, but i'm going to continue loving and respecting you. because i know that this is both a test God has set out for you and me and i'm not going to be one that stands by the sidelines and gossips while calling names,
but i'm going to help you get through this.
i know it's not your fault, i know that you have so many horrible problems and fears in your life that you can't even speak about.
but hey, just remember... no one else deserves to suffer no matter how much pain you're going through.
i'm sure you know how terrible, how sucky you feel, and maybe just for the sake of feeling good, you want someone else to feel that pain too... but hey, you are the only one that knows how painful it is... don't let another person have to go through that same pain too.
don't throw it out on __, don't throw it out on ___, don't throw it out on __ because i know that you know that they have done nothing wrong. they may not understand, they may not know what you're going through, they may just think that you're becoming a spoilt brat, but it's all because they don't know.
but hey, i give you the permission to throw it out on me, you can hit me, slap me, call me names, throw tempers at me, throw my stuff around, but i'm going to be here for you. i'm going to love you, i'm not going to talk about you, i'm going to walk up to you with a smile everyday, i'm going to be here to support you, i'm going to continue asking you to do projects with me, i'm not going to gossip about you, i'm not going to complain about you, i'm going to stay by your side, to help you get over this.
you know... i feel so much pain in my heart!! i feel so much paint in my heart... sometimes i wonder how i can bear this, and not be like others and gossip abt you and talk about you even when they think they it's just sharing problems... but it's because, if it's one of the few things i learnt in coming to God, it's loving. and i'm going to love you. because i know that there's the nice side of you deep down inside... and without love, it's never going to come up again. i love you so much, really truly so much... and i hope that as times go by.. you can feel that love and care for you, because i know thats what you really need right now.
don't let the devil take over girl... don't let him laugh in happiness....
cos nothing is more meaningful in this life that the house of God...
and you have gained yourself a place in there and it's a place that you will be connected with for the rest of eternity.
jiayou girl!!
i'm sorry i had to post about this but i really didn't know how else to let it out...
i really hope you can get back on your feet again, cos ur one of those people that help me to stand straight in my life, and once you're upright, i know things are going to start falling in place in my life too (:
oh and welcome back sumei dear (: don't fear!! God will bless you, and you have me too :D
everything's going to be better (:
posted by TMcharlie # 5:52 PM 
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